Another year almost over.

Well it's the 26th here, and we have another christmas over. It was a fun day, another of the gathering relatives, although since my granddad died about 15 years ago. it has never been the same. when he was alive we used to all go round to my grand parents house and have a big family gathering, my family, my uncle and auntie and their children, twas good times, although now that we are all older and granddad has been gone for a while, we are all spread out over the place which makes getting together on the day a rather expensive affair for some.

And the family has also grown somewhat a lot since then as well. as far as i know there are 3 new spouses or soon to be at least, and 4 children added to the family,3 of those children are my niece and nephew, the 3rd is yet to be determined. and 2 soon to be sister's in law.

Now there is just me and 3 of my younger brothers to start families, can't wait till that day happens for me at least, although needing a better job or at least a higher paying one.

Then the clan will be growing a lot, but being that all wonderful insecure guy that i am, also a big pessimist when it comes to that sort of thing. man i need to get my life sorted big time. and think about the future. ah well, it will come in time i guess but im not getting any younger, only 24 though, almost 25, and no prospects of getting hitched at this point.

What is the average age that persons get married and or start a family? tis a worthy question, although not one that needs to be pondered on so much as getting out of a depression of sorts, when it comes to thinking about not having a future with any offspring to think of, therefore i may be lead to believe that i may live a life of solitude and be happy for my brothers, for the children they have brought forth.

Ah well, there is always the new years resolution of taking control of my future, or allowing GOD to tell me what when and where everything will happen. i must just surrender myself to him, and let my future happen, im sure that there will be a family in there somewhere.

the curse of shyness.

It is an annoying thing being too shy to talk to women, I would rather that i could, well women that I like anyway, there is one that I would love to get to know and date, but at this stage it is not going to happen. As I am way too shy, which is not good. Maybe there is no one for me, or we have not met yet, either way it looks like I may be single for a long while yet.

Unless I pluck up the courage to actually talk to said person, although I think that she may not be interested, always doubting myself about what others may or may not think about me, she used to smile now not so much, I keep wondering if it is because I am rather shy and need to speak up, maybe, or maybe not. I do come across quite creepy I think.

Anyway, online is where I can really open up and talk about anything because there is no one to react straight away probably. Very emotionally screwed, which does not help at all. With me thinking that I will always be single and that all females out there hate me just because I am me.

There is nothing I can do about that though, I could change my attitude, which would take time, and possibly a lot of healing on my part. Not that anyone would actually read this. The woman in question, her name is Casey, and I would love to get to know her, but don't know how to go about it. Being that I am somewhat of a geek and all of the women that I may be interested in are not. Sharing interests and having things in common is always a good thing.

I've never really asked anyone out, as one would properly, also I am rather poor, so can't really afford to take anyone out to dinner or something like that. Why I am such a reject I have no idea. When ever I think about talking to her, I get tight chested and can't think straight, maybe i am in love. probably not, you can not choose who you fall in love with, maybe this is the case. Would enjoy getting to know her though, if that ever happens though is another story.

Ah well thats enough from me today. If something ever happens in my life i may update again. Got my bike learners now just need a bike, so many women want a guy to have a car which is fine, but i don't like driving so thats a down side.

GTK themes for Gnome

There be plenty out there, but none seemed to fit my needs well wants really, something that i could live will all day everyday. and have finally managed to find one, well 3 actually, with different icon theme and so on, cant seem to find where it saved the theme to, or if its just loading from the other folders.

anyway here are the 3 that i use and for what, to make what i think is the perfect theme, for me at least.

Controls : SphereCrystal
Window Border: Smoked Glass
Icons: Dropline Nue

plus im using Compiz Fusion for the cool desktop effects.

that is all

intelligence vs non-intelligence

well im trying to talk to someone that does not like, "big" words. as supposedly ppl will make fun if used. which in my opinion is utter bullshit but thats just me. i don't know what to do at the moment. as it is annoying not being able to talk the way that i do. which is using a lot of the english language.

Oh well. i shall have to learn to "dumb" down my speech a lot so that its not humiliating for other ppl. maybe this was not meant to be, i don't know, but its going well so far.

Anyway that said. i shall still exerscize my vocabulary on here. and other places. that people will understand them. the word "pun" is not even big, nor hard to understand. as it just means that a word or sentence has can have a double meaning. or alternative meaning.

I been told its a good thing that i get bought down to others level. dont see how though. but im sure i can make her use the reasonable lingo.

Week One

Well it has been the happiest week of my life this far. And as far as i can tell it is going well. Sad to say that some of my habbits may be a contributor to failure, but this IS going to work. Im just not extremely experianced at many things, and should really take things slow, but not so slow as to be going no where. I think that I am just rushing things a little. although I don't know.

Need to think of something special to do, but as yet can not think of anything. Getting to know one another is the fun part. What each other like and dislikes. Loves and hates, and getting to know one another is the beginning, but when does that move on. I'm wanting a long term relationship currently, which will if all goes well, will turn into marriage, 3 children. Eh what a handful.

got 4 years to work with. possibly even 2 if things go really well. Which, correct me if I'm wrong, is about the average time from first date, which we have not really had yet, to walking down the isle.

I know no one reads this but ya never know. this might interest someone. although probably not. Being that I work mid afternoon to mid-evenings most 5 days, makes it hard to be able to see each other, as we both have things to do in the mornings. although as soon as i am able to get some transport other than my feet, things should be better.

My flaws are nothing to be desired. And almost impossible to be repaired. Almost, ha, yeah I'm sure that they can be worked on.

Well at least my future sister-in-law is all happy too, at the possibility of gaining an auntie for her daughter, and also a Sister-in-law, so that they can do what women do and gossip. About what I do not want to know, if i knew that, they would be exposed. Ha, although they are really good friends so that is all good.

As for me I'm useless when it comes to anything romantic, or even non-romantic. I should speak my mind, and do what feels right and comes naturally, see where that takes me. Also I have to lose my gut, its painful and will probably take a while, but it will be worth it, being in shape for my woman.

Ah well, we shall see and have an update probably in about 3 weeks, should still be together then, and then maybe monthly after that. Going to sort of give up a few things, Online gaming be one, as I would rather spend time with her and the little man, Her son. Well thats all for now. I'm going to have some breakfast and then do me hygiene thing before i start work.

Peace.

The Randomness of random

random post i know but thats what i'm all about really. grr firefox's spell checker sucks. ah well. thats all good though. more random than random itself. can't be possible. just typing what i think atm. blah blah.

it seems blah is in the dictionary but grr aint. and aint aint, Wow, so bored before work today, pretty sure i start at 2pm, so ill leave a 1pm to get there at the right time, better to be early and wrong than be late and wrong. OMG, is not in the dictionary. and yes i know i can add them if i want to, but they are not real words, therefore don't deserve it.

Ah babies are all fun when they are happy, when they aint its a bit grr slap. well not really. should not be hitting da kids. rather than teaching them its wrong. i gots a niece and a nephew. they both cool as. less than a year old each.


my niece is about 8 months old or so and she is climbing on everything. just learning to land on her bum when she falls over. hmm random ending.

Windows 7 Subscription

Well i read over at winsupersite.com that M$ are thinking about and sorting out a Subscription based usage of their new Widows OS named at the moment Windows 7, so this basically means you have a low initial cost to purchase the rights to use the software, and not actually purchasing the software itself, that cost i'm assuming covers the first 12months, then after 12 months they make you pay another fee to be able to continue using it.

Sure this may look like you are paying for the updates and "security patches", but your not, they get that money from corporate business. Maybe they will only have this payment method for business, and not the home user. which would be fine, but if it extends top the home user, i know that i will be sticking with Linux for good after that. and start seeing about game companies making the games for both windows and Linux OS's, I know ID already make them for both. its not that hard if it is done at the same time as making the windows version of the game.

But M$ are trying to muscle in on the action with DX10 and not allowing Video card makers to write OpenGL drivers for Vista. So a lot of game development companies will not bother and just use DX10 for their games.

Anyway back on track here, talking about subscriptions, they are fine for certain things, but definitely not your OS. Where would it end? they will then make you pay for every little service that they offer.

Although you can always use 3rd party software as most people in the know do now anyway. For those who are not in the know they just go with what M$ shovel them and take it in their stride. which is fine, but they don't know what they are missing out on. Well not much really, but they are wasting a lot of money on products that they can get for free, that are a whole lot better and more stable. The main reason i hear that people do not change over to OpenOffice.org is that their friends will not be able to read the documents that they create, compatibility issues and the like, well guess what, Open Office is free, get your business to convert, as it can read MS office files, and you wont have to spend any money upgrading, because the software is free, as in beer as well as speech.

Sure with some applications you get what you pay for, but with open source if it does not do what you want you can add the functions that you need and then add your name to the comments and maybe the official developers will ad the function to the official release.

Anyway ranting and raving here slightly, Why pay for things when you can get a perfect alternative for free. So anyone out there i challenge you into ordering your free Ubuntu DVD's from www.ubuntu.com or www.kubuntu.com or www.edubuntu.com i think are the addresses.

Have a friend install it for you if you don't know what you are doing, and see how you like it, once it is all set up and working start learning how to use it yourself and then compare. you can not always use your windows programs on Linux but you can always try, there is a program called Cross-over Linux, which you do have to pay for, and it lets your windows programs run. It is a commercial version of Wine. which does the same thing but not as well supported possibly.

I can do everything i want to do on my PC with Ubuntu and not have to pay for anything apart from the hardware, I don't see why Microsoft charge so much for something that does not even work properly. here in NZ Windows Vista Ultimate is $998 for the retail version, $300 if i get it as an OEM version. I don't really see why there is a price difference, Retail I'm buying it separately, and OEM it comes with either an Entire PC or just one part for a new PC, makes no sense to me.

Anyway back to subscription based operating system, it would not be so bad if it was for updates, as in your subscription runs out you get no more updates in the future, which is fine, because you are usually better off staying behind the trend, as once they "fix" the security holes in widows, the hacker forget about them and start working on the new ones. so you are once again save.

Also using 3rd party security software helps, rather than using the crap that comes with windows. I have no idea why Microsoft even bother trying to force all these crap programs onto you, the operating system should be just that, small and relatively bug free. its all the programs you need to actually be of any use that they integrate into the system, which you don't need half the time.

what I'm meaning is made into modules like Linux is. although a lot of the programs rely on each other in Linux, there is nothing that is making you use any of them and you can remove what ever you want. although some is integrated, like the Gnome desktop has a bunch of stuff, but then again all the Desktop environments are software packages, which is fine, you can still install and use 3rd party ones if you like. and then Visual customization is another thing they done right in Linux. just hope the think about that when making Windows 7 but i doubt that they will.

Well i be off to work now, so cant rant any more

until next time.