the curse of shyness.

It is an annoying thing being too shy to talk to women, I would rather that i could, well women that I like anyway, there is one that I would love to get to know and date, but at this stage it is not going to happen. As I am way too shy, which is not good. Maybe there is no one for me, or we have not met yet, either way it looks like I may be single for a long while yet.

Unless I pluck up the courage to actually talk to said person, although I think that she may not be interested, always doubting myself about what others may or may not think about me, she used to smile now not so much, I keep wondering if it is because I am rather shy and need to speak up, maybe, or maybe not. I do come across quite creepy I think.

Anyway, online is where I can really open up and talk about anything because there is no one to react straight away probably. Very emotionally screwed, which does not help at all. With me thinking that I will always be single and that all females out there hate me just because I am me.

There is nothing I can do about that though, I could change my attitude, which would take time, and possibly a lot of healing on my part. Not that anyone would actually read this. The woman in question, her name is Casey, and I would love to get to know her, but don't know how to go about it. Being that I am somewhat of a geek and all of the women that I may be interested in are not. Sharing interests and having things in common is always a good thing.

I've never really asked anyone out, as one would properly, also I am rather poor, so can't really afford to take anyone out to dinner or something like that. Why I am such a reject I have no idea. When ever I think about talking to her, I get tight chested and can't think straight, maybe i am in love. probably not, you can not choose who you fall in love with, maybe this is the case. Would enjoy getting to know her though, if that ever happens though is another story.

Ah well thats enough from me today. If something ever happens in my life i may update again. Got my bike learners now just need a bike, so many women want a guy to have a car which is fine, but i don't like driving so thats a down side.